I could only learn and loosen up.

As soon as I knew that the woman was fundamentally interested in a date, I suggested specific dates and locations. With the classic distribution of roles, this is not only expected, it also helps you reach your goal faster. After all, nobody wants to write countless emails just to meet up.

In total, I met nine women I had met while dating online. It could have been a lot more if I hadn’t kept interrupting my efforts for weeks. But still: nine women. Far less than I initially feared. I met with some of them several times.

Before the first dates, I was slightly excited, but never as much as I expected. I was surprisingly relaxed. That may have been because I was never too hopeful. I had only written a few times with all women, so I didn’t know much and there was no special closeness between us. Most of the time, before the dates, I had believed that it probably wouldn’t fit between us, but that the experience would be good for me.

As an introvert, you might be afraid of making small talk difficult. But that was never a problem. We had already done the roughest small talk digitally anyway. Through chatting and the profiles we knew a little about each other and had points of contact. You find something interesting about each other, otherwise you would not have met. Before each date, I read my online profile and our messages carefully again to have as many topics of conversation as possible in my head.

Since I felt it was my responsibility to propose a location, I was able to choose the time and place so that they suited me. I hated to meet in the evening, even if that couldn’t be avoided entirely. Because evenings can be long. This is uncomfortable when the date is not so exciting and you prefer to withdraw. In addition, in the evening there is more of an expectation of going home with someone afterwards. That was out of the question for me. I was too “out of practice” for that and assumed that on the first date I wouldn’t be able to know if I wanted more from someone.

However, some women told me (sometimes while chatting) that it would be unusual not to want to go home on a first date with a woman. This made me feel extra pressure. That’s why I largely avoided dating in the evening.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *